Miles here. Of course, Mamie’s hasn’t always been the “Gas Up and Go Truckstop, Café or not.” When it was a stagecoach stop, it didn’t even have a sign. Back when Mamie 4 or 5, I disremember, was lookin’ fer somethin’ new, she tried “Mamie’s Diesel Up” for the hippie 60’s. Didn’t sound right, somehow.
Once Mamie 5 tried “Road Hawg Café” on April 1st, an’ boy did the truckers get mad. They claimed Mamie really hurt their feelings: was she implying their driving wasn’t that great, or their table manners? Then when she served pancakes that couldn’t be chewed an’ swallered – with her permission, her cook had put cheesecloth circles in the center of each pancake afore he turned it – thet was the last straw. The truckers got in their rigs an’ carefully started parking side by side. When they finished, Mamie’s was a lil’ bitty island in the middle of about 40 big rigs, all parked like the biggest jigsaw puzzle you ever saw. Luckily, Mamie guessed what the boys and girls were up to, an’ she grabbed her super-duper ear plugs an’ put them in just as they all yanked on their air horns!
Yowzer! The noise blew down the “Road Hawg Cafe” sign they all hated an’ it broke to pieces. Three vultures perched on a dead tree acrost the highway fell out of the tree. Trooper Snake actually paused for a minute while he was writin’ out a ticket half a mile away, shook his head real hard, an’ then kept on writin’. Mamie’s waitresses all swore the ground shook an’ they could still hear the blast, even through their ear plugs.
So Mamie grabbed a clean white apern an’ ran out the door wavin’ it when they stopped honkin’. “Repark your trucks, knights and ladies of the highway! I apologize – an’ free pie for everbody!”
Well, those rigs was parked nice and neat in a row like lil’ soldiers in no time. B.A. Grouseman (more ‘bout him later – thet guy’s a real character, all right) sweet-talked Mamie into a second piece of pie just ‘cause he claimed he’d only pretended to pull the horn cord.
Anyhoo, thet’s why you’ll see the same ol’ sign fer years an’ years, until a newbie driver or tornado takes it out. Then the size of the plywood piece an’ how much paint’s left in the storage shed determine how many words go on the sign.
So I’ll yak at all of you next week, gearjammers, an’ drive safe.