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Cat House on Wheels

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Truck Suds: a truckin’ soap opera

Miles here. Nadine got a call from my sister, Flora Fora, the other day an’ it struck me funny. So I’m gonna repeat it here.   

Seems Flora recently had kind of a rough time of it, her and the five cats. Some mouse snuck into her little RV last week and the cats just went crazy. The RV was rockin’ back and forth and jumpin’ up and down, leanin’ first one way and then the other until Flora thought for sure they were all going to be capsized like that fishin’ boat in “A Perfect Storm.” The cats was screechin’ somethin’ awful, an’ clawing and scratchin’ at each other, all tryin’ to get that one mouse, when all of a sudden there’s a terrible poundin’ on the door.

She told Nadine all this on the phone, when she could quit shakin’ hard enough to push them lil’ bitty buttons. Said the poundin’ nearly scared her to death; she was sure her heart quit beating for a few minutes. Finally she said she got a breath gulped in an’ she hollered, “Who’s there?” An’ this deep voice says, “State Police! Open this door!”

So she shakes her way over to the door, dodgin’ scrambling cats all the way, all runnin’ to get under the bed because they’re scared of whoever’s at the door. She gets the door open, and a trooper’s standin’ there. He glares at poor Flora Fora in her lil’ housecoat an’ says, “What’s the meanin’ of all this ruckus in here?”

Flora nearly fainted, she told Nadine, he looked so mad. “Why, officer,” she finally managed to whisper, “I never thought my little Cat House would be such a bother to everyone. I’m really sorry.” That’s the name of her RV, you see. She’s got a little sign with that painted on it, just hangin’ by the front door, where the doorbell is.

She did say the trooper was really nice an’ even apologized to her after he’d gone under the bed and drug ever’ one of them cats out, hissin’ and scratchin’ and cussin’ in cat. He said he had to, because they were the ‘legal perpetrators of disturbin’ the peace.’ But he wouldn’t ticket ’em since they wasn’t humans.

Poor Flora. An’ the worst yet – when she went to get her breakfast the next morning, that mouse jumped out of the cupboard at her, an’ the whole commotion started again.

Now, mebbe that ain’t a real knee-slapper for ya, but it’s better’n most things you’re gonna read in the papers or hear on the news these days. An’ I thought mebbe it’d cheer you up. Here’s somethin’ else cheerful – Mamie’s is still open, bein’ as how it’s a truckstop too, so we’ll keep the coffee hot for ya.

Keep on truckin’, gear jammers.